Don't Let Crying Get You Down

the cutest sad face ever

An Anecdote: You walk in to a restaurant already hungry, as you should be, it is dinner time. The waiter takes your drink order and says he will give you a few minutes to decide what you want to eat. You say that you already know what you want and proceed to order. "It'll be just a few minutes." says the waiter. It has now been about five minutes and your stomach is growling. You have finished your beverage and want a refill. You see that the waiter is with another table but you don't care. You're now "hangry" (hungry+angry because it has been foreverrrr since you last ate). You start to complain to the waiter that it is taking too long. He starts yelling at you to be quiet and sit down. He yells that the chef is going as fast as he can and you should not be complaining, you had a whole glass of water just 5 minutes ago. You keep complaining. The waiter yells at you again to be quiet. "You ate lunch didn't you!?"

Does that sound insane to you? That a waiter would treat a hungry customer that way?

How often do you get frustrated when your baby cries? It is perfectly normal. We all feel frustrated. It is hard not to sometimes. Especially when going off of a few hours of sleep. But...crying is the main language babies use to communicate. Getting frustrated at them for communicating? Now that sounds different.

I am not by any means saying I don't get frustrated. I do. I totally do. Quite frequently. That's all the more reason what I am about to tell you is so important.

They only know how to tell you what they want by crying. Am I being redundant? Let's look back at the anecdote from before. It sounds crazy that two adults would act that way. But let's be honest, how many times have you been "hangry" in a restaurant and snapped at the wait staff? How often have you been frustrated with the amount of time it was taking to get your food even though you were hungry when you came in? Is it the staff's fault that you were hungry? (OK I'm stretching a bit here, obviously you are hungry when you go out to eat. Let's just think about the emotions going on when this does happen). I mean... you're hungry and you want FOOOOD!!

Babies are the same way. They get frustrated. They don't care how hard you are trying to make the bottle/warm the bottle/get somewhere to breastfeed.. They don't understand why it is taking so long. All they know is "my stomach is GROWLING because I haven't eaten in foreverrrr!!! (3 hours)" Yelling at them and telling them "the chef" is doing her best to get the food out does not phase them. They don't care. I think babies get "hangry" too. I mean it makes sense, right?

Don't let the crying get you all hot and bothered. Remember why they are probably crying (sitting in poo, hungry, cold, sleepy... etc) and think "Yup. I would probably complain or be unhappy too." When you think about it that way, it makes it easier to relax and not stress over it. It makes the situation almost relatable in a way. You can do your best to hurry and think "yup. hangry happens." or "sitting in poo is terrible." or even "I would want a blanket too." (you may even already have your own blanket or jacket on)

Of course, there will be those times when baby just cries for what seems like no reason. You may have tried everything you know to try, called Grandma, Googled, and Pinterest-ed. You are about to resort to a Facebook status. Maybe someone can help. Maybe it won't work. All I can say is that the few times my baby has done this, I just went to a quiet and dimly lit room. Held him close and prayed. Eventually he did calm down and fall asleep. The important thing is to try to stay calm. Breathe. Ask your husband or whoever may be availabe to take over if you feel frustrated. Take a minute to calm down and think that this stage won't last forever. Remember last week? Baby is already a week older and maybe even bigger than that. Because babies grown and change so fast. Baby won't be this small again.

*side note: some crying is OK. For instance, tummy time can be frustrating for baby. But just think about it like baby work outs. When you work out, you can be uncomfortable with the amount of strength and energy it takes, but in the end it is a good thing. You are strengthening your muscles. You may even grunt as you lift those dumbbells. Babies need tummy time in order to become mobile and develop their muscles. Let them grunt (within reason) while they do their "baby pushups."

I hope this helps someone. This mindset has really changed the way I handle things. Even in my job. Not that I yelled at children before, just that I became too easily frustrated. I hope this attitude sticks with me and I can continue to be calm when handling frustrating situations. 

I would love to hear your thoughts and welcome your comments!

Anna  :)