Don't Let Crying Get You Down

the cutest sad face ever

An Anecdote: You walk in to a restaurant already hungry, as you should be, it is dinner time. The waiter takes your drink order and says he will give you a few minutes to decide what you want to eat. You say that you already know what you want and proceed to order. "It'll be just a few minutes." says the waiter. It has now been about five minutes and your stomach is growling. You have finished your beverage and want a refill. You see that the waiter is with another table but you don't care. You're now "hangry" (hungry+angry because it has been foreverrrr since you last ate). You start to complain to the waiter that it is taking too long. He starts yelling at you to be quiet and sit down. He yells that the chef is going as fast as he can and you should not be complaining, you had a whole glass of water just 5 minutes ago. You keep complaining. The waiter yells at you again to be quiet. "You ate lunch didn't you!?"

Does that sound insane to you? That a waiter would treat a hungry customer that way?

How often do you get frustrated when your baby cries? It is perfectly normal. We all feel frustrated. It is hard not to sometimes. Especially when going off of a few hours of sleep. But...crying is the main language babies use to communicate. Getting frustrated at them for communicating? Now that sounds different.

I am not by any means saying I don't get frustrated. I do. I totally do. Quite frequently. That's all the more reason what I am about to tell you is so important.

They only know how to tell you what they want by crying. Am I being redundant? Let's look back at the anecdote from before. It sounds crazy that two adults would act that way. But let's be honest, how many times have you been "hangry" in a restaurant and snapped at the wait staff? How often have you been frustrated with the amount of time it was taking to get your food even though you were hungry when you came in? Is it the staff's fault that you were hungry? (OK I'm stretching a bit here, obviously you are hungry when you go out to eat. Let's just think about the emotions going on when this does happen). I mean... you're hungry and you want FOOOOD!!

Babies are the same way. They get frustrated. They don't care how hard you are trying to make the bottle/warm the bottle/get somewhere to breastfeed.. They don't understand why it is taking so long. All they know is "my stomach is GROWLING because I haven't eaten in foreverrrr!!! (3 hours)" Yelling at them and telling them "the chef" is doing her best to get the food out does not phase them. They don't care. I think babies get "hangry" too. I mean it makes sense, right?

Don't let the crying get you all hot and bothered. Remember why they are probably crying (sitting in poo, hungry, cold, sleepy... etc) and think "Yup. I would probably complain or be unhappy too." When you think about it that way, it makes it easier to relax and not stress over it. It makes the situation almost relatable in a way. You can do your best to hurry and think "yup. hangry happens." or "sitting in poo is terrible." or even "I would want a blanket too." (you may even already have your own blanket or jacket on)

Of course, there will be those times when baby just cries for what seems like no reason. You may have tried everything you know to try, called Grandma, Googled, and Pinterest-ed. You are about to resort to a Facebook status. Maybe someone can help. Maybe it won't work. All I can say is that the few times my baby has done this, I just went to a quiet and dimly lit room. Held him close and prayed. Eventually he did calm down and fall asleep. The important thing is to try to stay calm. Breathe. Ask your husband or whoever may be availabe to take over if you feel frustrated. Take a minute to calm down and think that this stage won't last forever. Remember last week? Baby is already a week older and maybe even bigger than that. Because babies grown and change so fast. Baby won't be this small again.

*side note: some crying is OK. For instance, tummy time can be frustrating for baby. But just think about it like baby work outs. When you work out, you can be uncomfortable with the amount of strength and energy it takes, but in the end it is a good thing. You are strengthening your muscles. You may even grunt as you lift those dumbbells. Babies need tummy time in order to become mobile and develop their muscles. Let them grunt (within reason) while they do their "baby pushups."

I hope this helps someone. This mindset has really changed the way I handle things. Even in my job. Not that I yelled at children before, just that I became too easily frustrated. I hope this attitude sticks with me and I can continue to be calm when handling frustrating situations. 

I would love to hear your thoughts and welcome your comments!

Anna  :)

Feeding a Baby is a lot of Pressure

excuse us. we woke up like this.

Feeding a baby is harder than I imagined it would be. For starters, there is the whole breastmilk vs. formula thing. Both sides seem to be pretty adamant about which is better. Which leads to the next question, does it matter if you use a bottle or not? even if there is breastmilk in the bottle? What about supply? These are all thoughts and questions that went through my head while I was trying to decide. In my line of work, I have seen numerous babies that were breastmilk or formula fed. I had not put much thought as to which was better. I knew formula cost more money (1 can is usually only about 15 bottles worth) and that breastfeeding (minus the cost of the pump, bottles, and lanolin) was essentially free. I knew I would be going back to work so pumping might be difficult. I also had observed the formula babies and noticed that they seemed to spit-up more, and had other health problems such as eczema or reflux.
After taking a few childbirth classes through our hospital (I highly recommend these! Mom and Dad!) I decided to try to breastfeed and not be upset if it didn't work out.
But I still had lots of questions.

• Breastmilk vs. Formula. I knew what I had observed from my work experience but I did not have research to back it up. To be honest, I didn't really research it that much. The childbirth class and that it is free pretty much sold me on it. But, I wish I had done a little more research and been a little more pushy at the pediatrician. After finding this chart from the UK, this timeline, and this interesting read , I realize I was not very well informed about what to do when it doesn't work out. After my son was born I tried breastfeeding like the nurse suggested, ASAP. Like within the first few minutes. I think I have a picture timestamped like 5:11 pm and he was born at 4:56 pm. But he wouldn't latch. Thus the breastfeeding saga began. The nurse said to just keep trying. I was trying not to stress about it, I figured if he was hungry that he would eat. But he didn't. I think he got it right twice the whole 48 hours we were in the hospital. A few things that stopped me from fully focusing on breastfeeding:



one of our first moments together. 






•  I did not want to breastfeed in front of people. And there was always someone in our hospital room or home. I loved having everyone there, I really did. My son is the first grandkid on both sides, so... he's kind of a big deal. I wish I had been more adamant about taking time to try.
•  Another hindrance to the breastfeeding saga was (if you refer to the previous blog) was that the "fast" 2 hours of pushing I did left him with gunk. This gunk in his stomach made him think he was full (according to the hospital pediatrician) which made him not want to nurse. I was determined not to use formula! But I also wish I had gone to a breastfeeding class or read the breastfeeding book my aunt gave me :/ oops.  Since he screamed at me and refused to latch wouldn't latch he lost almost a pound in 5 days. According to the ped. this was not good. He suggested we use formula until my milk came in. This is when I wish I had been more pushy! I was so emotional/hormonal/trying not to burst into tears I forgot that our hospital offers pasteurized breastmilk for this very situation! So we used formula to "top him off" after he drank from a bottle what I could pump. 
• I decided to pump exclusively. (see below) I pumped what I could every 2 hours. He drank it. He also drank about an ounce of formula at every feeding for a week (and the few 3 ounce bottles of formula my husband gave him trying to help me sleep longer. *takes deep breath* God bless him.) I really really really didn't want to use formula. But I also didn't want to share how I really felt about the trouble I was having. I should have tried to go the support group :/
• Breast or Bottle? Does it matter?  I have not read anything that says it matters what device? the breastmilk comes from. The only thing I have seen is that introducing a bottle and a paci too soon would hinder the baby from nursing because it causes nipple confusion. Or something like that. Since he was already...not participating, I didn't see the harm. I decided to exclusively pump and bottle feed. This also freed me up to nap or whatever while someone else fed him. I could pump, put in in the fridge (see breastmilk storage guidelines) and warm it and feed him. Also we could go out in public without having to worry about breastfeeding in public. (*rolls eyes* I am not opposed by any means, it

  

  #fridgeselfie

  just takes some getting used to for mom)  I took to pinterest and came across this lady's blog. She makes some great points. The only down side is now I have to plan out feedings and pumpings. And lug around a pump and bottles. Other than that its been great... One thing that will save you a bunch of time and energy if you choose this route, put the pump parts in the fridge between sessions. It will keep the milk inside fresh and you don't have to wash it out every time. :) you're welcome. 
• Supply or Die: I was told that many women in my family had trouble with their milk supply. I assumed I would too. From like day 2 being home, I started drinking this smoothie to increase lactation production. It really was delicious and nutritious so I drank one every day. Turns out my supply was not low. Despite what I thought the ped. was telling me, it was fine. SO now I have about 25+ bags of milk in my freezer. 3-5 ounces each. And I haven't had to use them. The milk just keeps building up in my fridge, so I freeze it. Hopefully I can use them when I go back to work. Otherwise, looks like I'll be donating to that milk bank I forgot about earlier. I have no more room in my freezer. (also hopefully I didn't just jinx myself)

  

  But wait! there's more!

  I hope you found something helpful here! Let me know if I can elaborate or clarify anything!