Pregnancy: the (wo)man, the myth, the legend

Pregnancy. The beautiful creation of life. Something most women look forward to and thoroughly enjoy. 

It was a hot Saturday afternoon in August. I found myself at the drugstore buying lady parts products (tampons) when I thought to myself, "I don't even feel like I'm about to start." Even though I knew it was time, my period tracking app was always accurate. "I'll probably start tomorrow, maybe I should get a pregnancy test just for kicks and giggles. I know it will be negative." My husband was working an event for the restaurant he manages so I knew he wouldn't be home for a while. I went ahead and took the test, waited the appropriate amount of time per the directions listed on the back of the box, and... PANICKED!  

It. Was. Positive.

P-O-S-I-T-I-V-E

Mother. Of. Pearl.

I immediately threw the test down and reached for a new one. Even though I knew that there is no such thing as a false positive, in my mind I needed to take another. It was also positive. I wanted to talk to someone. Anyone. I called my sisters, they were both busy. My hubby was at work and this is not news your share over the phone while someone is at work. All my friends were busy. AHHHHH!!! After the panicking, I cried. I'll be honest, I cried for about 3 weeks. I was not happy. I was not expecting it. I had plans. There were things we were supposed to do. We had only been married 11 months! I was supposed to go to Key West for a bachelorette weekend! I was supposed to work out like crazy and audition to be a professional cheerleader!

All of this seems shallow now, but then it was real. Those were my real feelings. I was not excited. I told my husband the next morning as we were getting ready for church. We were both scared. 

I had always thought people, especially married people, were supposed to be excited about becoming pregnant. It's so hard for some people to do and here I was being selfish and unappreciative. I felt bad.

That was just the beginning. 

I had read many other blogs about what people don't tell you when you're delivering but not being pregnant. Here are a few things no one told me about life as a pregnant person: (this is my personal story, may not happen to everyone)

1. Insurance is complex.  I was 24 and therefore still on my dad's insurance policy for another 2 years. BUT since my state, Alabama, adopted to expand medicaid, his policy no longer covered dependent maternity. Because apparently I should apply for medicaid now. Much to my chagrin, I applied. Nope. too rich. (hahahahaha) So here I am in insurance coverage limbo. AAAAAND commence panicking, again. My OB/GYN, agreed to see me as private pay while I sorted it all out. Which sounds easier than it is. OBs aren't cheap. Finally got it all sorted out. but my advice, if you are getting married or think you could possibly get pregnant, have an insurance plan. And go for the BEST maternity coverage possible. like 80-100%. For real.
2. Emotions will take you over. And you may not even realize it. I have always been a worrier and an overreactor. SOOOO being pregnant multiplies that. All of a sudden you have another life you are responsible for taking care of. Your choices affect it. I was so worried I would hurt it, or do something to mess something up developmentally. I cried over everything. Happy or sad. I felt like a hot mess. A literal hot mess. (because hot flashes). 
3. It's OK to not be excited at first. People will be shocked when you say you aren't excited. But, it is kinda life changing news. I mean you have these plans and all of a sudden you have to alter your entire life. I had to pray a lot. A lot a lot. And take deep breaths. And seriously focus on not being panicked all the time. As soon as my hubby and I heard the heart beat for the first time, our faces changed to huge smiles. I instantly felt calm. It was real. Our kid was in there. That was his heartbeat. He was alive and he was ours. 
4. People ask questions. Just deal with it. I had prepared a few snarky responses for whenever people rubbed my belly or uttered something about me "popping" soon. But I never used them. People are...well, people. It is going to happen. I learned to just deal with it and end the awkward as soon as possible. 
5. You are not eating for two. Don't fall for the myth. You just need about 300 more calories a day than you normally eat. I would suggest doing just that. Try to eat healthier, cut the caffeine, the sugar, drink more water for sure but don't eat for two. Eat when you are hungry. Some days I would eat two lunches and some days I felt like eating one. Just don't eat all the time just because you think you can. Track your weight when you go to the doctor so you can see how much you are gaining. Your doctor will tell you if you need to gain more. I am currently 7 weeks post-partum and still have about 15 pounds to lose. 
6. You will miss your OB/GYN! I actually felt sad at my post-partum check-up. I mean i saw her every month,then every 2 weeks, and then every week for 9 whole months. I wish I had asked more questions just to get to talk longer, I mean I felt like we were buds! haha                                                There are so many more things I could list, maybe I will add more. Comment your thoughts about this below!